Every time I drug my child by putting a tablet screen in front of her, I feel a little ashamed. But I do it. And then I lie about it. 'She's been doing a lot of good playing games on the iPad since she was 1 1/2. She's learned English words, she can do puzzles that were for kids much older than her, and it's generally allowed her to be creative.'.
This is the default answer I've been giving for years when I see someone wondering why my little one has been glued to a screen. Ever since she could barely hold it. An answer that contains a grain of truth, since I truly believe that there are apps that make sense and help her play and learn at the same time.
What I'm not saying, but every 'fellow' father out there knows is true, is that the iPad also acts as a 'kid's' Valium, sleeping pills, Xanax (yes, I don't know my tranquilizers well) or anything else that makes someone calm down and not make you a mess in the cafeteria by making rounds at neighboring tables, grabbing and breaking things, shouting or singing.
Obviously I've read all the relevant articles. Yes, I'm not that irresponsible. And, at least so far, the little one doesn't show any signs of being addicted to tablets. Nor has it affected how much she likes to go out and do things outside (ed. She doesn't like it, she's an indoor cat).
Maybe because this, playing with the iPad, is something we never forbade her from. So, during the day, she doesn't ask for it desperately. That's something too, you can't say. A kind of comfort for the sick. Actually, comfort for the lazy parent.
Also, obviously, we are not the first generation of fathers who are anxiously looking for a way to occupy their children and not let their nerves become a nuisance. Mine, for example, back in the mid-80s, had bought me a fun electronic game with which I spent hours speechless and motionless in the back of our dingy Lada. Without even wearing a seat belt, if I remember correctly.
The difference is that, now with tablets, we at least have the 'excuse' that our children are learning something. In the logic that the internet is good for the child because they can learn things. Yes, good. That's why we're fed up with 'educational' sites like youporn. Also, the even more important difference is that the children growing up now are the first generation to use tablets and technology in general so intensely. Before they can even talk. In some cases, before they can even walk.
I'm not necessarily afraid of that. Nor do I think that everything in the past, when kids would go out and play all day in the playgrounds (ball, rope, marbles, hide-and-seek and long donkey), was so infinitely better. Something I saw firsthand this summer when I took my 4-year-old daughter to a street festival with toys from the old days in Antirio. The what the fuck look she gave me was all the money. And then she asked me for ice cream and the iPad so she could play doctor with her cousin.
In the end, the bottom line is that things are the way they are. And you have to be a parent in the era you live in, not in the era you would like to live in. What's the point, for example, of me banning tablets in my house and, when we go out with friends, watching it drip dry on top of the other person's?
I think it would be more appropriate, let's say, to manage to convince her to share her tablet with someone else at some point. That would make me 'proud' as a parent. Although I see it as a pale reality. Just as I see it as a pale reality, a year from now, to be able to walk into any cafe in the southern, northern, eastern and western suburbs and not see 9 out of 10 children with their faces glued to a tablet screen (expensive, cheap, it doesn't matter). Something that is already happening, but -due to the crisis- not to such a complete extent. Look at how out of nowhere Steve Jobs also emerged as our babysitter.
So, what's left? Let's whine a little about how hard it is to be a father in our time. And then, let's roll up our sleeves and get down to the 'real' work. That is, choosing, with love and affection, the right apps for our child. Let's dedicate time to playing with them.
And then find a way to 'trick' it into putting it down and coming to play ball with us in the claustrophobic playground, the grassy park, the dilapidated playground, or the abandoned Olympic property in our neighborhood.
Panos Kokkinis
Source: oneman.gr
